A while ago my wife showed me this article on women claiming second virginity. I find the topic interesting because I have come to appreciate purity, innocence, chastity more and more as I walk with Christ and realize how I threw so much away in my foolish youth. Our culture has no place for values such as these and even mocks them. Some have tried to claim a “technical virginity,” but this surely is not purity. I write this first to encourage parents to make this a priority while raising girls and BOYS. (Notice the article only mentions girls being taught abstinence.) There are a few things that you can give away cheaply and your innocence is certainly high on the list (and I am not just talking about having sex). Do not fall into the LIE that experiencing this world is good for making well-rounded persons and they will have to see the real world sometime. A child’s innocence should be a parent’s #2 priority after teaching them the gospel.
Second, the issue is an interesting one when asking what does a new convert think and do after his precious innocence is gone. Of course we are talking about sex out of marriage but there are numerous ways of losing innocence–marriage infidelity, movies, etc. Well, the answer is not to have surgery so you can have the physical facade of purity. The answer is to cleanse one’s heart, mind, memories, and desires striving for renewal. Just as Paul calls the Romans to renew their minds and not be conformed to this world, so too we all must be aware of the oversexualized culture we live in and seek protection, barriers, and accountability. We should in fact be a Holy club.

So, for those who do wrestle with desiring a second virginity and the guilt that comes from such past mistakes, let me offer you this. I was reading Augustine’s On the City of God (book 1, chs 18-20) and I came across his discussion of virgins committing suicide before the barbarians had a chance to take what was so precious to them–their chastity. He argues that this was clearly sinful because they committed murder. He goes further to state that the virgins would not have even lost their purity if they had been raped because it was not their lust that committed the act, but the lust of another. Purity is a state of the mind and the soul, and just because one’s physical body has been attacked does not mean one has lost their unwavering self-control and devotion to God. He even argues that one has lost purity if still physically innocent when walking to another’s house intent on committing sexual sin (obviously based on Matt 5:27-30). Maybe Augustine has too much division between the mind/soul and the body, but I think he is on to something. I completely agree that one has not lost purity of heart when attacked by another. Of course there are difficult memories and feelings that come with such a crime and I do not want to make light of this. What I do want to do is spin off of what Augustine states about the act of another and give some hope to those with guilty consciouses that purity is attainable.

The act of sin that you committed as a non-believer was done by a different person. That was the old-self that died with Christ and has been buried in your baptism with Him. If you are a new creation in Christ and have a new life with him in his resurrection, the old self has died and you are no longer culpable for your sins. Christ knew who you were and what you did when he died for you. He has made you new and pure with a goodness and innocence that cannot be destroyed. You must be aware, however, that your walk now as a Christian is much more difficult than what it would have been had you had not made those mistakes. Your sin is forgiven, washed, and nailed to the cross in terms of how you relate to God. You still have to fight with the consequences of your previous sins and the temptations that they carry with them. Your fight for the renewal of the mind is harder, but it is attainable in Christ as you meditate upon what he has done for you and as you look forward to a new life, body and spirit, that will be perfectly pure when you are presented as the spotless bride of Christ. The gospel is hope that everyone, regardless of sin committed, can be united with Christ and receive every blessing of goodness from him.

Eph 2 “and you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedient-among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath like the rest of mankind. BUT GOD, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together in Christ-by grace you have been saved.”

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