The past two months have marked a big change in 3ABC’s leadership with the resignation of three elders (Left to Right: Jeremy Yong, Greg Gilbert, Aaron Menikoff).  This was a bitter sweet moment as we said good-bye to these beloved brothers who have been called to serve other churches full-time.  Jeremy will be serving as Director of Ministries at church in Dubai City in the UAE.  Greg is going on staff as an Associate Pastor/Church Planter at Capital Hill Baptist Church in Washington, D.C..  In partnership and with the support of CHBC, he will plant a church in Annapolis, MD, Lord willing, in a few years.  Aaron left at the end of May and has been serving as the senior pastor of Mount Vernon Baptist Church in Atlanta, GA.  We thank God for the years these brothers served formally and informally and we look forward in anticipation to how God will use their gifts else where.

This parting does, however, leave me with an opportunity to reflect on how relational unity was and can be fostered among elders.  Needless to say, doctrinal unity and like-mindedness is absolutely essential for an effective elder board and should not be taken for granted.  But, unfortunately, what often divides leaders are personality differences and conflicts.  So here are a couple of practical ways to foster relational unity.

First, be regular disciplers of one another.  It’s easy for leaders to spend nearly all their time discussing church matters and not their personal lives.  In the long run that can lead to unnecessary conflict and disagreement because the time hasn’t been taken to care for one another.  It is much easier to have fruitful discussion about the church’s direction when you know that the brothers around the table have a deep love and care for your spiritual well-being; that they have taken the time and energy to invest in you.  One of the practical ways I do this is by having intentional conversations with the elder I ride with to a meeting.  (If that’s Wheeler, it’s pretty short because of how fast we’re going.  JK, Wheels!)

Second, become close friends.  That may sound too simple, but I promise you that it works.  Some of my closest friends at church and in life are the other elders.  You do this by going on couple dates and vacations.  Have dinners together regularly.  Encourage friendship among your kids.  We take a weekend retreat each year.  We use that time to discuss the church’s future and the larger items we can’t fit into an elders meeting.  But it is also a great opportunity to hang out and laugh together.  At one of our lunches last year we discussed who was the most talkitive and in the best shape.  Plenty of laughs to go around at that.  Another fun way we share laughs is by keeping a “quote bank.”  This is a collection of sayings from our meetings that are priceless. You can do whatever you want.  The point is that the elders must make an effort to become good friends.

(In my next post, I’ll give some practical advice on what the congregation should be looking for when they consider future elders.)

Posted in 3ABC Life, Church Life, Pastoral Ministry |