K, I absolutely do want help from the church in raising my son! That’s why I say I would love for you or any of Justin’s buddies to talk to him about serious things, even while you’re holding him upside down by his heels. In fact, hearing from you or his other Buddies that it is a good thing to obey your mom and dad would, I think, make a huge impression on him. I also think that kind of exhortation can be given in Sunday school or in other contexts. But like anyone else, Justin’s going to listen most closely to people he loves—which means, largely, people who play with him. We’re trying to build a culture in our church of having serious, spiritual conversations with each other. That should definitely extend to our kids also.

Greg, I stand overstated.  I certainly agree the primary responsibility for the entire family is the father.  I also believe a parent should teach their children the whole law.  What I am asking concerns how the church can support, help a parent.  In the background of this question is the family structure of the Old Testament.  A family would be gathered around a patriarch.  His children, grandchildren, and so on for Methuselah, would live as a big extended family.  They would raise thier children together and teach the law together.  Once upon a time, Western families had to live like this too.  Not so much today.  So, I ask, without this structure which was implied in the Deut 6 command, how can the church be your family?  Since that is exactly what we are.  If we had another elder chatting, he may say, “it takes a church to raise a child.”  I would give him a good-gamer.  If you do not desire the exhortation of others I will just hold your son upside-down until my arms get tired because he is quite fun. 

Maybe another question to pursue after Jonathon gets off his “I love Presbyterians but they should be SBC” kick might be husband-wife relations??

I am not a parent (the lone elder with this status), so I get to ask them about raising a child in the church. The fifth commandment says to honor you mother and father. Now, if a parent commands this from their child it is right, but it also sounds self-serving. Should others in the church be taking your children aside and exhorting them to honor you? Do you have a problem with this? How far should others go with this type of exhortation? Can I hang your sons upside down until they say “uncle?”

I will make an analogy with marriage to promote my question. I do not tell my wife to submit to me. The Scriptures do so, my pastor has done so, other women should encourage each other to do so. Or maybe the other elders will tell me I should. I fear the complete depravity that can cause me to take what God has established for good and use it for my own means. There is certainly an order in the family that must be observed, but how can we as a church promote this better?

I know a couple who are in the process of adopting a child of another race. Through their adoption I learned of a Christian ministry that assists families in the adoption process. The ministry is God’s Grace Adoption Ministry, and their focus is to provide grants for adoption. I only know what their web site says about them, but inasmuch as we are concerned about abortion, this seems like a great way of helping to preserve life.

Christian parents need all the help they can get. Ray Van Neste, a professor at Union University — and a dad — is committing some of his time to helping them. He’s written a nice little article highlighting some resources helpful to parents with young children looking for resources (toddler bibles, etc.). You can find it here.

Even better, Ray has begun to blog regularly at “The Children’s Hour.” He describes it this way, “Comments and recommendations for books for reading to children, particularly books on the bible, history and good fiction.” Check out his post for January 23, 2006. He’s got a great review about a family worship book by Terry Johnson.